Saturday, January 14, 2012

हमने उदासियों में गुज़ारी है ज़िन्दगी...

आज बहुत याद आ रही है पापा आपकी...ये याद भी रोज़-रोज़ परेशान करती है, लेकिन आज तो पता नहीं इसने हद ही कर रखी है | पहले तो रोने पे भी सौ पहरे थे, लेकिन अब? ये याद सब जानती है, तभी तो और ज्यादा मचलती जाती है| आप होते फिर बताता इसे, लेकिन अब| मैंने अपनी भरी आँखें रख दीं हैं आकाश में..अबके बारिशों का पानी शायद नमकीन हो जाए..!!

कितना कुछ सिखाया आप ने, बल्कि सब कुछ आपकी और मम्मी की ही नेमत है... लेकिन अभी तो बहुत कुछ सीखना बाकी था| ख़ासकर दुनियादारी| आपने ही तो पेन चलाना सिखाया था, जिसकी वजह से आज लिख पा रहा हूँ, और आज आपकी ही कलम खामोश है| आपने ही बताया कि दूसरो कि मदद करो बिना किसी उम्मीद के| कभी हार मत मानो, यह कहते कहते खुद कैसे हार मान गए? अभी तो बहुत कुछ बाकी था| 

बहुत कुछ पूछना अब भी बाकी था जैसे आपका बार बार ये गाना कि "हमने उदासियों में गुज़ारी है ज़िन्दगी...|" कभी मौका ही नहीं मिला पूछने का| कभी दिमाग में आता तो सोचता कि बताने से मना कर दोगे| और अब...अब सोचता हूँ कि पूछ लेता| बहुत सी बातें करनी थी, बोल भी तो नहीं पाया था आखिर में मैं| 

हाँ, कभी वक़्त मिले पापा तो सपने में ज़रूर आना, बहुत कुछ बोलना-सुनना है आपसे...|  

Saturday, October 29, 2011

An Open letter to King Khan!

Dear SRK,

Don't worry! I ain't going to write anything panic for you. A lot of people(especially youth) are criticizing you for Ra.One. I didn't watch it yet, but I appreciate your efforts as always. Everyone has it's own dream & you're lucky enough to attain it. For me you're a role-model whether it may be your presence-of-mind, stage appearance, your hard-work, sports, belief in GOD or anything.

People say bad things about you, prompt you as selfish actor. Actually they're not jealous of you. They're jealous of your triumph, your journey, your glory that you achieved. When they like Delhi Belly or Dabaang & criticize Ra.One(SRK) it doesn't mean that you made a scrap, it means they are frustrated with their own life. You put an example in front of them for being a super-star after facing a lot of struggle. You were a common man like them, an ordinary college student. You got what you wanted, you got your love, you got your passion, girls are mad for you. Everything you dreamt...But you make them realize that they're still away from their dreams. That's the reason behind their lack of interest.

They'll start to talk about your movie & suddenly you will be pointed out. They don't hate Salmaan or Aamir as they don't know about their own struggle. Both were familier to industry already. It's you whose story people know from top to bottom. They know that it was you who used glue in his hairs due to insufficient money to purchase hair-gel. They know that it was you who fought for his love & got it. They can see their own lives in you but only word missing- 'success'.

But still, some people love you. They are mad for you. Please keep making movies for them & ofcourse yourself.

You're doing pretty well with Chammak-Challo & I hope you'll break all the records, here's the glimpse-

P.S. I'm writting as I'm his huge fan, just because I don't like jokes about him & here's the answer for all of them.

Friday, July 29, 2011

It's Birthday...

Another year goes by, and I'm of 22 now.(... Happy Birthday to me. !!! )

Few days back my friend said that why I'm away from blog. Then I realized that since last 7 months, I didn't write any post. Am I really busy or just pretending ?

Initially that was fun, but it's no more fun. For a clarify it rained few days back here. I could see those kids playing & enjoying the rain, but I (who was moving for office)...could only see them, & now when I had all the time to think, it made me realize that how we miss being ourselves, how we can never dare to NOT bother for the world and be happy and how responsibilities takes over and we miss out on all the life! Henceforth, I’ve decided to take out more time for myself and all the silly things I have missed doing over the past few months, since the time I started working. I faced some new things, some new places, new people & new experiences... all that I've right now.

Well coming to B'Day point, my weird thoughts:

At very first, It's a great relief to realise I still have friends who remember. It was a pleasant surprise (may be facebook/orkut birthday reminder worked for them!!). Nice, to the extent of being funny, was when my buddies started wishing me a week in advance and amidst wild guesses of when my birthday actually was, I had one full week of wishes! (Sometimes it's better when people forget. ;)

It's good to wait for birthdays before you buy anything for yourself & I'm doing so.

Then there's my mother, who comes to wish, and the second thing I think she'll say is "You're of marriagable age now!". Supposedly my kundli says I'll get married in early age may be between 22 and 25, so that's the new ploy to get my plans out about getting chained...sorry married. ;) For the fact's sake she knows and understands all my plans...its just the happiness she derives out of tryin to make me blush.:P

I love and respect my father... the way he cutely smiled say the magic words Happy birthday "Beta"....touched my soul and energised me to face the tougher years of life !!!

My brother, he is in himself a gift for me.

May be a drive around the city with dearones after watching Singham again (joking) and blessing myself with loud music, remembring what and how life had treated for the last 244 months of my life...was how the day was planned to end as...!!!

I love my this day ... what more can one ask for... ???

All in all no introspection, no revelations, just plain simple life...and a worth remembering birthday # 22 !!! :))

P.S.- First birthday in TATA family and sharing this with Late J.R.D. Tata.

Monday, December 20, 2010


What's more...after 4 months of ‘practically-nothing,’ 3 months of uncorrupted life, that is what I am waiting for... 3 months after a span of loneliness(reference to friends)...3 months of going around professionalism...moreover  ‘My First Job’ much that I can forget everything and start a new chapter in TATAs... full of energy and great upcoming memories of these coming 3 months.

Just thinking, how do you feel if your entire family comes to drop you after living with them for 4 months, especially for someone who hardly spent a week away from his family for 21 years of his life( not talking about Engineering). Excited,right... I am feeling double the excitement but mixed with blood is flowing at 240 mmHg...and my eyes fixed on the clock...72 hrs 30 mins more to go... a whole lot of things are on my mind...

Just wondering after my ILP, how my mother would react on seeing me,my father's expression on seeing me and my brother,I know his reaction! But,back to the delicious home food,food for which I never worked, but something I terribly long for now. As I’m going away from them , I’ve to just eagerly wait for my father to take over the commands of me and my place, just like he has always done....just like what I have always liked...

Before today, I have been looking for ways to kill time. And kill it continously and rather ruthlessly. But I wonder how people would choose between having no time at all, like I was in my engineering  or having infinite time like now.Tried a lot of things,some mentionable while others not...cant say about the future as I hardly have any idea what I would do after 2 hours....But still,at least the mind is doing something.

I think; Heisenberg is God, and uncertainty rules, for both its inevitability and its excitement, yet I need to believe that come what may, it will never be so bad it breaks me or will ruin my freedom because I’m going to experience this ‘uncertainty’ in a certain environment.

Time to say farewell to this extra laziness. Lots of work needs to be done there, got to go...hopefully to come up 1000000 times happier when I write next in this blog, your wishes needed... :)

& yes... wishing you all ‘A very Happy New Year 2011’ :)

Friday, October 1, 2010

Welcome to the World Of Certainty...

Hey, chaos of the life is back. The glitter, the joy, friends & sinusoids are back. Finally I got my much awaited joining of TCS. I have to join at Haldia in West Bengal on 27th December. It'll be December, the sweet December. The time is back with momentum, enthusiasm, freshness, random people, a big-far place...another new life, new begin.

Within a day, I got so many views about this place 'Haldia.' Some friends are teasing me for this Bengali place but some are excited as well and have started suggesting me for 'to-do-list.'

Whatever is the fact, it's reality that I'm going to start a new inning there. Whichever the way, I'm loving it!

I know that there will be some complications to adjust there and I'm supposed to decide all alone but my friends are going to help me in this; & yes, they are with me. I know that my job will kill my waking hours & it'll not be as fun as it sounds but we're gonna make it.

I'm happy because my parents are also happy. They are around and always wants me to be around all the time. They are ready to get me out but not permanently.

Life's suddenly exciting again after ECB. Fingers crossed for 27 December. Wish me Luck.

Phew!!! Welcome to TCS, Ashu.

Cheers to living a great day :)

Some snaps of Haldia by my friend-



Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Well, I am now officially and legally of 21... is anybody listening?Today is my 22nd birthday. I feel old, weary and an epic failure. As time is passing, I realize, I am liking life less and more less. I’ve completed my engineering and going to work for Ratan Naval Tata in his Tata Consultancy Services Ltd. I don’t think that it’s a final phase but i’ll enjoy at fullest. Phase by phase/ situation by situation, I’m getting old and it’s definite that life at work is making me age quick.

Being a kid was good. Situations were not always same.

As I go 4 years back; everything was quite different, even falling in love was so much simpler four years back than it is now. It used to be simple, joyous and strengthening. Now the same love can harsh me, ruin me, can make me feel weak and helpless, the same love. When did it become so powerful? Who knows... Also deciding what to do in life was so much simpler. So Limited options, enough time and limited risk also. One could just be good at what one choose to do. But now? Job? To study further or not? Where is the career headed? My parents wanna know about my future plans (recently my mom wants me to go for hair-cut :D). Hell, I don't know where I am going to be next week.

How can I forget friends, having friends was too much simpler. People just became friends, and stayed so. Now, in college/after college we have colleagues, bosses, juniors, hangout gangs etc . Feelings are divided. This feeling for senior, this for junior and this one is for my batch. Feelings are limited.

Even family - they were around and wanted you to be around all the time.

Also ‘Frooti’ says, “why grow up”...growing up is very-very confusing. You can lose your beloved things. Why the hell does anyone ever want to grow up? I don't want so... Well it's a process and I'm an ore for whom it's necessary to go through this process for purification.

Happy 21st Birthday to ME !

On closing note I would like to give out some unbirthday wishes to whoever is reading this and some birthday wishes to my self ;)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

My mom :)

for my mom-

M is for the million things she gives me.

O means only that she's soft to hold.

T for the things she tries to teach me.

H is for her heart of purest gold.

E for her eyes with love light shining.

R means right & right she'll always be for me...

Put them all together they spell MOTHER.
A word that means the world to me.
Love you mom :)
Happy Mother's Day. :)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

I tagged myself...

If you are free then you can use these tags for yourself.
Here goes:


- Available: For friends and relatives, YES. ALL THE TIME.

- Age: 21, but probably less than 18 by heart!

- Annoyance: Insincerity

- Animal: Doggies!!


- Beer: No

- Birthday: 29th July

- Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes

- Best feeling in the world: Knowing that someone loves you with everything in them. Nothing can beat that!

- Best weather: Spring

- Been in Love: Yes

- Been on stage?: Yes..

- Believe in miracles: Yes.

- Believe in God: Yes. Most of the times.

- Bouncers: Several times... on me or by me :D

- Baran/Bikaner: ambiguity.


- Car: Not a big car freak but it may be Corolla.

- Candy: Yes! (Bachpan ki aadat)

- Color: Black, White, Blue.

- Cried in school: No.

- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate.

- Country to visit: Want to explore the whole of India. And the whole world. Dream destinations: Australia, Italy, France.


- Day or Night: Night.

- Danced: Yes, but only in marriages. But love it in general, and want to.

- Dance in the rain?: aah.... loved it.


- Eggs: Only in cakes.

- Eyes: Smiling. Speaking. Alight. Alive. That’s the way I like them.

- Everyone has: A story, A past.


- First crush: In college.

- First thoughts waking up: Gosh! Is it morning already?

- Food: Anything vegetarian, depending on my mood...sometimes 'Bhujiya ki Sabji on Fauji Dhaba'.

- Fast/Spin: more and more pace.


- Greatest Fear: Having nothing to live for

- Goals: To grow in life, not to just go through life.

- Get along with your parents?: Yes. Touch wood.

- Girls: Although I don't have a Ph.D. yet I feel that this creature wants you to initialize everything but wants to end up everything in her

own way.


- Hair Colour: Black

- Height: 6’1”

- Happy: Generally, yes.

- How do you want to die: Sudden Death, even 'pata nahi chale ki mar gaya';Peacefully. Without pain to me    or to others.

- Health freak?: Nope.

- Hate: Lies, back biting and insincere behaviour.


- Ice Cream: muaaahhh... Love it. Any flavour will do.

- Instrument(musical): Only table yet, once bought a mouth-organ.

- Idol: Randomly changes, depends on demand.


- Jewelry: Nah, Not into it.

- Job: filhaal to lag gayi.

- Juice/Softdrink: Juice.

- Juice/Tea: Juice.

- Juice/Ice-Cream: Ice-Cream :)


- Kids: None yet.

- Kites: sure, i'm going to watch it.

- Keep a magazine?: Used to.


- Love: Has the potential to change you and your world. It is precious, and worth fighting for.

- Laughed so hard you cried: Yes.

- Love at first sight: Yup.


- Marriage: Not Yet, will happen in due time.

- Machines: used to.

- Music: can't sustain without it.


- Number of Siblings: 1, A Younger Brother.

- Number of Piercings: None

- Naughty: depends


- One wish: To be successful.


- Place you’d like to live: Amidst lush greenery and extremely beautiful natural surroundings.

- Perfect food: My mum's hand-made.

- Pepsi/Coke: Slice.

- Prizes: countable yet.


- Questionaires: Fun when I need refreshment/nap. (like now)


- Reason to cry: When I am hurt.

- Reality T.V.: Yes.

- Roll in cricket team: Strike Bowler.


- Song: Loads of favourites.

- Shoe size: 9

- Slept outside: Yes. On terraces.

- Seen a dead body?: Yes.

- Smoked?: Nope.

- Shower daily?: Yes. 

- Sing well?: Would love to, but, unfortunately, I don’t now. 

- Swear?: Left it.

- Single?: Yup.

- Scientists need to invent: Nothing particular as such.


- Time for bed: Sometimes early, sometimes too late (like today).

- TV: Yes, addicted kind of.

- Touch your tongue to your nose: Can’t. 


- Unpredictable: Yes.


- Vegetable you hate: Spinach.

- Vegetable you love: Potato, Karela and Bhindi!

- Vacation spot: Home :)


- Weakness: Too caring. Too sensitive. Too trusting. Too sentimental. Can't satisfy in a bit-'I want more'. 

- When you grow up: Want to be a better person, and have made a difference in the life of someone.

- Worst feeling: To be ignored.

- Wanted to be a model?: Never.

- Where do we go when we die: No clue!

- Worst weather: None actually. Every season has its own downs, and its own beauty.


-X-Rays: Once...


-Year it is now: 2010.

-You: ofcourse, I needed.


- Zoo animal: Not a very big fan of zoos. Pity the animals. 

- Zodiac sign: Aries & Capricorn

Take it up, guyz! It’s fun!!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

और ख्वाब...?

और रात जाने क्यूँ खड़ी है खिड़की में?
शायद नाराज है या शरमाती है अन्दर आने में.........
नींद भी दस्तक तो देना चाहती है पलकों पे,
बस खुली आँखों में उतरना इसकी फितरत नहीं........
और ख्वाब?
वो तो सभी तुम्हारे थे.....
अब तुम नहीं तो ख्वाब कहाँ?

आज की शब् तुम्हारे सिवा सभी कुछ अपनी जगह पर है....
पर थोडा कुछ कम होने से कितना कुछ कम लगता है.........

I read it from somewhere, actually don't know from where...but willingly want to post it. So enjoy...

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Hazaron khwahishen aisi...

I have thought about this issue several times without a concrete answer. Now I am having answer....ohhh, sorry! 'answers'.A lot of things I want. Here it is-

I want to play for the Indian Cricket Team in the World Cup 2011. I want to write a book about the story of my life. I want to be blind for a few days. I want to be a millionaire and then throw it all away. I want to interact with Gulzar and tell him to write something for me.I want to travel at least one hundred countries in my lifetime, on all seven continents( 'Australia' first). I want to be able to live a life free of the fear of death and pain. I want to save the water & trees. I want to be free, from norms, from DO's and DONT's.I want to wear a red-black funny flowery shirt to the an important conference/seminar/interview and walk out smiling about it.I want to take a lecture of my HOD in his style(wanna teach him). I want to cycle across countries for a few months. I want to hug & kiss the most beautiful and important girl of my life in my balcony. I want to tell her that 'I Love You' and want to sing my favourite song for her. I want to own a chocolate shop. I want every single motivation of mine in my life. I want a pet dog & zoo-zoo's of vodafone. I want to disappear off into the wilderness for weeks or months or years, and just be alone and think. I want to know (well) at least five musical instruments: guitar,violin, flute, mouth organ & piano; five sports: cricket, football, F-1, x-games & sketing; and five languages: spanish, italian, german, urdu, japanese. I want my own home-library and I want time to stop so that I can just keep reading. I want to be a good son, friend, husband and father. I never want my beautiful mind, body and soul to deteriorate in any way. I want to have a car accident/plane crash and survive. In the end, I know they will and I want to commit suicide - my life and my death should be in my hands.

This is a small list. Not everything is necessarily true. But if it was...who knows...!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

...err, these hectic days...(2)

Ooops! I forgot to mention something. Besides been too busy to think, some random things are:

:) Realizing what I want to do for the rest of my life and I hope the path towards its pursuance is chalked out soon.

:) Listening some music and I am in love with Javed Ali's voice.
      (I wish that I'll attend his live performance at Jaipur on 14th March in JECRC.)

:) Growing hairs are just wonderful. My friends often suggest me to have long hairs, but I am happy with moderate. SORRY DOST!

:) Thought that I had fallen in love but realizing it wasn't anything of that sort from other side. [:P]

:) Enjoying Cricket at it's maximum.

:) Home sickness is no longer yet. All my friends are at their home but I am not. But maybe within 10 days, I'll there.

:) have some important days in my life coming up.

Finally, MUAAHHH :) to all those college friends who canned on my planes in Feb. and March.
so, ek Break to Banta hai Boss...

till then TAADDAAAHHH....... :D  

...err, these hectic days...(1)

I have lost focus in life! well so be it! and I am going to go nowhere! well so be it!

I think that I am on absolute vacations. Dunno how come I have become so reclusive in life since starting of this year but generally, I have started talking less, may be its natural or just a phase!

After Holi, this week is going to be crucial, so 'fingers crossed', but anyway! I'll pass through this phase too!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

6 PM... :) Lessons learned :(

I read it before, but I think this is the perfect time to deliver it-

"Never make anybody a priority in your life, 
        when you are just an option for them..."

Easier said than done. Such little to smile about. 
I won't be short-tempered but how to stop myself to be little crazy :)

Feelings,they are so irrational, mostly a mad gush of chemicals making you crazy. Making me fight to keep them beneath the surface. Yeah, of course; making me fight. 

I don't know about limits, reasons I don't need. I'm but a slave of love.
you hurt me at maximum impact.
but I am thinking of you because- 'how much life owes us, in Love Debt.'

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Thought !

This is the smallest post for the season. Sorry about discontinuity. This is the impact of Gulzar. I was just tweeting & the result is it. I think you'll feel Gulzar in it definitely & even it is unbelievable that I framed it.

"कल मौसम की रंगत कुछ और ही थी,
        और आज देखो, इतना तल्ख़ हुए जा रहा है,
                      लगता है इसने भी कभी इश्क़ किया था |"

Dedicated to the weather of 22nd Feb.
Say how's it? 

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Hopin' For A Sweet Semester :)

The sky is dark, pitch black, except for the glitter of the few stars of great bear constellation. What I presume are clouds, hide everything on the earth from me. The yellow light at the tip of the wing breaks the serenity. I crane my neck to see the rear view out of the window and see the full moon, in all its glory, perched over a cushion of  clouds just over the horizon. The cradle is lit yellow with the light from the aged moon.

And I curse my eyes, my heart for being unable to capture the magnificent scene.

I have forgotten all the things in a while, my mobile is ringing & I am attending the call.
It may relavent to my semester, hoping so...
(For those lost, this was a scene from my overnight flight...... 1 am-5 am, in my dreams)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Gulzar & me...(version-2)

"दिल की वादी में चाहत का मौसम है और यादों की डालियों पर अनगिनत बीते लम्हों की कलियाँ महकने लगी है | अनकही-अनसुनी आरज़ू, आधी सोयी हुई, आधी जागी हुई...आँखें मूँद के देखती है...ज़िन्दगी | ज़िन्दगी जिसके पहलु में मोहब्बत भी है, तो हसरत भी है, पास आना भी है, दूर जाना भी है | वक़्त बहता है झरने सा यह कहता हुआ ... दिल की वादी में चाहत का मौसम है ......."

आज फिर इस चाहत को गुलज़ार कर रहा हूँ गुलज़ार के साथ...

     "याद है इक दिन...
      मेरे मेज़ पे बैठे-बैठे
      सिगरेट की डिबिया पे तुम ने
      छोटे से इक पौधे का
      एक स्केच  बनाया था
      आ कर देखो-
      उस पौधे पर फूल आया है !!'


Gulzar will come back again...
wait for next posts...Bbye for now !

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Me, Mom 'n' Cricket

"Silly, stupid, duffers; ruining all the Indians. Look, look at the way they chase the ball like ghosts, earn a lot for this silly thing and you with similar-you destroy your precious 9 hours for them. It's just madness." My mom says.

I don't know, why does she react in this way ? I remember that she watched all the matches of Team India in World-Cup 2003. But now...? I think she wants me to be more specific and concern about my career. But I can't hold myself to follow the Cricket Path.

Some things are the way they are...and words just can't explain them. So, I can't explain my feelings, I crane my neck to see the rear view out of the window. I love this game and enjoy every moment connected to it. Cricket teaches me about 'how to get victory and how to face failure.' This game gave me a lot of things and friends. And the most important thing is that I can enjoy this game only now. After 5 or 6 months from now there will be zero probability for this. So, sorry mom; you have to wait for my retirement from Cricket. [:D] more thing !
My father doesn't want to discuss anything at all. He just picks the newspapers or any magazine and comes out of the room as soon as I get the sports channel on the TV :)

and I have to mention my future program here-
March : Intra-College Sports Events
April : ECB Sports Club Championship

Bbye...but I'll come again because yeh dil maange more :)

Gulzar & me...(version-1)

Now I am from Gulzar's side, giving time to his wonders (I am saying 'wonders' because he does miracles with his creations). I want to share something which I like the most. The very first in a row is here...

Love you Gulzar... :)

और अचानक ...
तेज हवा के झोंके ने कमरे में आकर
हलचल कर दी ...
पर्दे ने लहरा के मेज़ पे रखी ढेर-सी कांच की
चीज़ें उलटी कर दी ...
फडफड करके इक किताब ने जल्दी से मुंह
ढांप लिया ...
इक दवात ने गोता खा के,
सामने रखे जितने कोरे कागज़ थे सबको रंग दिया
दीवारों पे लटकी तस्वीरों ने भी हैरत से
गर्दन तिरछी करके देखा तुमको...

फिर से आना ऐसे ही तुम
और भर जाना रंग फिर से इस कमरे में !

                                                    - गुलज़ार

(more in next posts...)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

नया सवेरा :)

नव-वर्ष की शुभकामनाओं के साथ ....

"सो रहे हो ?
 सोते रहो !
 किन्तु क्या रुक जायेगा
 उगता हुआ नव-भोर ?
 निश्चित नहीं
 भोर तो आकर रहेगा
 इस धरा के
 मौज भरते,
मुक्त अम्बर में 
 पंछियों का
 शोर भी छा कर रहेगा |"

:) consecutive second post in a row [:P]

Friday, January 1, 2010

And that has made all the difference...!!!

Happy New Year to all...
The very first post of this year strikes to me only because of '3 Idiots'.

So here is the much similar poem 'The Road not Taken' by Robert Frost.